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INFOcus August 2007 |
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On A Lighter Note |
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Banswork: a New Integrated Library
Application Suite
LIBRARY AUTOMATON SYSTEMS INTERNATIONAL (LASI) IN
SERVICE TO THE LIBRARY PROFESSION SINCE 1994 Marion Librarian January 17, 1998 Dear Ms. Librarian, In this age of automation, librarians have
become accustomed to a certain level of freedom from the details of library
work. You may remember the days when cards were typed, labels etched, and
union catalogs painstakingly hand-searched. I'm sure you'll agree that the
more library staff can get away from these menial tasks, the easier their
jobs are, and more professional they seem to others. A librarian sitting at a
computer looks more professional than one sitting at a typewriter any day,
and will probably be able to negotiate better salaries. However, there are certain tasks that
simply have not been automated. This leaves your library staff in a painful
position: while they sit at a computer, they seem the paragon of
professionalism and high-tech polish. But when they get up to fulfull other
library-related duties, they seem to regress into the pre-automation age. And
the city council members always seem to drop by just when staff are sweaty
from shelving, or ink-stained from stamping books, making it seem that your
staff is solely engaged in clerical tasks. This doesn't bode well for staff
raises! But
never fear! We at Library Automation Systems International (LASI), producers
of the renowned Gargoyle™ and Gargette™ public and school integrated library
automation systems, have come up with Banswork (tm), an astonishing suite of
automated library task systems, designed to do away with the menial details
of library work. Your staff need never fear being labeled a 'clerical worker'
again! Just take a look at the exciting application modules we offer: §
ShelveA™ uses
patented robotic technology, coupled with a scanning eye developed by optical
specialists, to shelve materials with up to a 50% guaranteed accuracy rate.
Easy installation takes only two to four weeks and can be done using your
existing top shelves to hold equipment. Shelving arm comes with 1,000
replacement fingers, covered in your choice of leather chamois or our
exclusive StixEeze (tm) flannel fabric, for minimal damage to book covers.
LASI has sold the ShelveA system to hundreds of satisfied
libraries--shouldn't you join them? ShelveA (tm) price is $5,560, and
includes all machinery, computer interface, joint oil, documentation, and
phone support for one year. Optional Bound Periodicals or Videocassette
adapters are $350. §
StampA™ was
requested by many of our public and school librarians. We were able to
miniaturize ShelveA technology and produce StampA, a small robotic arm that
installs conveniently at your existing circulation desk. StampA takes the
guesswork and inkstains out of stamping due dates! Simply position the book
card or date flag on the Stamping Base between the handy red laser indicator
marks. StampA takes it from there, producing a correctly-positioned, clean
due date stamp every time. The complete StampA module, including all
machinery, special date software, one year supply of ink, and our patented
SquirtShield, is $4500. Optional extra ink cartridges include blue, red, and
NEW secret ultraviolet (black light not included) for $500 each. NOT
RESPONSIBLE FOR INJURIES SUFFERED BY USERS INSERTING FINGERS BETWEEN HANDY
RED LASER INDICATOR MARKS. §
Meet It!™ is an
innovative response to the problem of time-wasting staff meetings. Meet It!
provides a full-room setup that allows staff members to meet by proxy,
without leaving their program areas. Each staff member is assigned a Meet It!
'dummy' in the conference room, which will record other dummies' spoken
reports and give the staff member's comments in any one of six pleasant
artificial voices (Jay Leno, Kim Basinger, and Al Pacino are just some of the
popular choices). Staff members can then join in the conversation using
special Meet It! conference interface consoles right on their desks, to
review recorded comments and to add their own. Best of all, there is no need
to take minutes--our patented MinuteTaker (tm) software produces a written
copy of the entire meeting within only three days of the date of meeting!
Price for the Meet It! module varies from $6,000 to $1,000,000 with the
options you select, including fashion clothing for dummies, voice choices,
attractive designer conference interface consoles to match office decor, and
installation options (number of dummies, special leather chair for director
dummy, etc.). Please call for a personalized estimate. §
Hoppin' Java™
is a state-of-the-art, completely automated, solid-state coffee management
system. Never again are you doomed to spend part of your morning messing with
filters, spilling grounds, or staining your clothes with splashes of coffee.
What do those tasks have to do with the proud profession of librarianship?
Hoppin' Java works with your existing ventilation system to deliver cupfuls
of piping hot coffee directly to program areas. Every night, your Hoppin'
Java computer interfaces with our central computer system in Haregrass, West
Virginia, via modem to update changes and prepare for the day. Brewing is
completed by the time you arrive for work, and all you need to do is press
the attractive brass (gold option is $900 extra) delivery button to activate
the handy bendable CoffeePipe delivery system positioned directly over your
desk. Module cost is $15,000 per ten employees, with options for larger site
licenses as your library grows. Installation cost of $6,500 includes
intensive profiling to determine individualized cream, sugar, temperature,
and mug size preferences for your entire staff. Cappucino module is currently
in development and expected to go into beta testing in early 1999. By popular request, we have refined our
phone management software module, Hello™, into a comprehensive phone service
system, HelloPlus™. HelloPlus will answer all your phones in your choice of
voices, bringing information to patrons who call with various kinds of
questions. You might never have to talk to a patron again! You may simply
code in your library's staff directory, hours and vacation days, or you may
wish to purchase the optional RefQuest™ software, which reads the answers to
many popular reference questions to your listening patrons. Currently
available is the "Word Games" disk, containing such perennial
favorites as "Words that end in -GRY" and "Words with double
U's in them". We are cooperating with the American Association of School
Librarians for a projected "School Daze" disk, containing
bibliographies of horse, dinosaur, cowboy, cat, dog, and Titanic books for
children. Basic HelloPlus module is competitively priced at $11,450;
reference disks and customized voice patterns start at $3,204 each. Optional
CutOff (tm) software handles calls from disreputable reference materials
salespeople efficiently and curtly for only $7,500. We at LASI know the daily frustrations that
confront public librarians, and we are committed to high-tech, fully
automated solutions that free your library staff from drudgery and allow them
to reach their full potential. If you care about the professionalism of your
staff, call us now at 1-888-234-LASI to order any of the Banswork (tm)
integrated modules. Sincerely yours, David Branthwaite, B.A. p.s.-Customers who call NOW will get a
special gift: 50% off our Year 2008 Adjustment Product Support Visit,
mandatory for all Banswork ™ sites, currently projected at $4,500 plus
traveling expenses. ©Jennifer Friedman, 12/5/97
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